Leaving on a jet plane

I'm overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with anxiety for this trip. 

There's no crying in Corporate America

There are times when I adjust quickly to new life situations....this is not one of those times.

I worked for Guardsmark for just shy of two years...I've been at Sedgwick for 3 weeks.

I am freaking out.

I've gotten so used to being in the mindset of things being done quickly and perfectly the first time that I am having a serious issue with how things are going here. They're great! I'm just the one who is severely messed up.

Case in point: My wonderful new Irish boss asked me over 2 hours ago to take this guy's resume and turn it into a bio on our company tempate. Done. I can do this in my sleep. Do you even KNOW how many bio's I had to make up while I was at Guardsmark for top level executives?  A ton! Surely this will be a piece of cake.

But it's not a piece of cake. The guy has written his resume backwards with his oldest jobs listed first instead of the other way around. I don't realize this until I'm half-way through. Whoops. Editing......editing.....editing.  Good? I've been working on this an hour and a half, surely they think I've been playing around and I should finish this up and send it to them now.  So I do.

And then the guy comes back and tells me that I've gotten his job responsibilities all mixed up. He offers to go in and correct the mistakes for me.  DANG IT!!! Now my boss surely has to think that I'm an idiot. I can't even take some resume bullets and turn them into a bio without screwing everything up. She'll never give me anything to do ever again since I've just proven that I can't even handle this simple task.

Guy sends his changes back. I make some ticky minor changes and resend. Everyone says "thanks for both your hard work on this...." and that's it. Done. No talking down to me because of my misfire the first time. No sarcastic remarks about my talent. Nothing but a thank you.

What in the world is this place?!?!?!?!?!

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Incredibly frustrating

It is incredibly frustrating to feel like you are never good enough.

To feel like you are always letting someone down, no matter what you do.

To feel like nothing that you ever do is right.

It is incredibly frustrating to have a mother who constantly compares you to other people, specifically your oldest best friend.

"I don't know why you are trying to hard to be on the dance team, lord knows that Caralee is a better dancer than you are...."

"Caralee is so smart. Look, she was in the top ten in your high school class!"

"Caralee sure looked beautiful at your wedding. Whoever did her makeup should have done yours...."

These are all things that my mother has said to my face and later denied. Just because you don't want to believe that you said these things to me....doesn't mean they didn't happen. Caralee and I stopped talking for two months in High School during my senior year because she felt like I was competing with her and didn't want to play those games. Gee, I wonder what in the world would have possessed me to do such a thing.

My mother starts a fight with me right before Mother's Day every freaking year. It's like clockwork. Suddenly, I become defective. I'm not the daughter that she wanted. That girl has been gone for a long time. I'm not thoughtful enough, I don't call her enough. I don't spend every waking moment of my life trying to please her. Therefore, I get emotionally abused. But my mother is crafty. Apparently all I ever do is hurt her feelings. Apparently my feelings are the only ones that ever matter even though that is certainly not the case. Just her feelings never get appeased. (Granted, mine don't either). 

She wants us to have this perfect mother-daughter relationship that I don't think exists. We wear matching outfits and go hang out like, all the time, together and I tell her every aspect of my to the point that it's slightly creepy. No. Too much has happened for that, Mom. Too many tears have been shed. Too many night have been spent wondering why it is that you don't love me. What did I do to make you ignore me completely for an entire week? What did I do to make you all of a sudden decide to send me to go live with "my father" because you thought that living in an un-airconditioned trailer would be a severe punishment for me, when really it was a great two days and I was kinda sad to have to move back home.

That's right...Have to move back home. Part of me didn't want to. Part of me wanted to stay in the delipated old trailer and make due with my dad. My mother things that I am a diva. That I love to want things. That I have to have things and heaven help the person who is not willing to give up everything for me to have them. This is not true. I can make due on a surprisingly small amount of money. I don't need a lot of things to make me happy. Do I want them? Sure, of course I do. But if it comes down to it, I can do without. Something that she cannot understand.

She says that I don't know the first thing about her. And I probably don't. Truth is, I really stopped caring about her a long time ago. I love her, yes, because she's my mother. But if she was some random person that I met, I would not care for her. I would think she was awful. So there's this obligation to love her. This obligation to tell her that I love her when she's crying about how I don't care about her anymore and she doesn't understand why I don't talk to her.  I don't talk to her because everytime I do, she tries to one up me. 

Have a bad day? Hers was worse. Feel sick? She's been in bed for two days with a migraine. Have financial woes? You haven't heard anything yet. She's the perpetual martyr. Always something to complain about. Never anything to be thankful for. 

But yet, I'm the emotional attention whore. I'm the one who needs everyone to placate my delicate emotions. 

It couldn't be that you are a bitch and that I don't like the way that you speak to me....no. Surely that's not it at all.

Konstantine....

UUUUUGGGGHHHH

I am the most bored, bored, bored person in the world. I hate this job. I hate the people here. I hate how people encroach upon your personal space and get all weird. How creepy old men stare at you because you're young and 25 and you're forced to wear skirts everyday because you work in a sexist hell hole. I hate how people assume that because you're young, surely you can't understand anything.

I especially hate waiting. When it seems like it's taking forever.

8. What are 5 passions you have?

Hmmmm....this is a very interesting question. I suppose they are....

1. Jacob. We fight and disagree and sometimes I want to shake him, but words cannot express how much he means to me and how happy I am to be able to fall asleep next to him every night. He understands how crazy I am and doesn't judge me and tries really hard not to be frustrated when I do stupid things that most people would have yelled at me for by now. He is always there for me and knows the different expressions that I can make with just my eyes. I don't know if there's anyone else in the world who can do that but him.

2. Dancing. I love it. Something happens when the music comes on and I'm in front of people and I'm moving. It's magic. I can't describe it. I feel outside of myself while completely comfortable within myself all at the same time.

3. Reading. I could literally sit around all day and just let books take me to far off places. I haven't had enough time lately to read anything which has made me sad (especially since I have some sort of epic love story waiting to be picked up) but hopefully that'll change soon.

4. Sewanee. I left a piece of my heart there 3 years ago.

Here's a beautiful aerial view.

Here's our chapel, All Saints.

There are tons more pictures I could post, but I won't to spare you.

5. My friends. I literally don't know where I'd be without them sometimes.

Things that I don't like: waiting, feeling gross and worthless, people lying to me, people acting like they are way busier than they are to make people not ask them to do anything and make them feel more important, feeling like I'm not good enough. Unfortunately all of these things have happened to me today. Harumph. :(

May the odds be ever in your favor

I was doing so well at updating semi-regularly....whoops.

But it's okay, because I hopefully have big news coming! I have two, count them two, job interviews tomorrow! I just need one to say yes. 

Pet Peeves

I hate it when people repeat the same thing you just asked/said to them. "Hey, so and so needs you to call them." "Oh...they need me to call them?".....................................geez.

I hate it when people are mean for no reason.

I hate when you ask someone a question and they just stand there going, "ummmmmm" or "ugghhhhhhh" while they think. You sound like an idiot. Stop it.

I hate people who can't figure out that their clothing is all wrong for their body type.

I hate people who make everything incredibly dramatic instead of just staying in your office and doing your damn job.

I hate it when no one offers to help when they see you clearly overwhelmed.

I hate when you apply for 200 jobs and don't hear back from a single one of them. 

I hate when people judge you for being nice and friendly. So what? I'm not bitter and hateful like you. 

 

I probably have more of these. I'll add later.

7. What is your dream job, and why?

My dream job is anything other than what I'm doing right now.

Just kidding, sort of.

Honestly, my dream job is having a fabulous office with lots of bookshelves filled with wonderful, lovely books that I have helped edit. I want to edit children and young adult fiction. Oh, also, maybe having a window seat where I can curl up and read these wonders and enjoy them immensely.

I love reading and I think it'd be glorious to be surrounded by books all day long.

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

I feel like I need to write this to explain partly why in the previous blog I seemed surprised that my mother should say such normal mother-ly things.

The hardest thing that I have ever endured was planning my wedding.

My mother and I fought THE ENTIRE TIME. Pretty much from the day after we got engaged until right before we got married. I didn't know if she was even going to come until 3 days before the wedding.

But let me start from the beginning.

Remember when I said that my mother, on some level, wants to be me. Imagine planning a wedding with that person. She wanted everything that she never got to have during her two weddings! and it didn't matter whether or not I wanted them.  

A.) She wanted to walk me down the aisle. Even though I have a father who didn't get to walk his other daughter down the aisle at her wedding. I said no.

B.) She wanted alcohol served at our wedding. Jacob's dad is a deacon at his church (of whom we all invited) and it would look TERRIBLE to have people getting scwasty-faced at that wedding. I said no.

C.) She just LOVED this particular dress. I kinda wanted to keep looking. I said yes to her dress to maybe appease her. This was a huge mistake as we ended up differing hugely on the choice of bustle I decided on, so it didn't matter anyway. I ruined the dress.

D.) She wanted me to use this specific photographer. I said yes. Again, another mistake as she overcharged us and didn't provide all of the service that she promised. 

My mother and I went to therapy. Once a week for months (that I had to pay for even though it was her idea and her therapist) to help us "figure out the root of our problems". AKA, make Tiffany sit in a room for an hour while her mother says horrible things about her and makes her cry. Then, when the therapist would side with me, my mother would just spit out, "Oh you  just don't understand me. You don't want to be on my side." 

I didn't ask my mother for anything with this wedding. She paid for my dress because she commanded that she be allowed to do so, then when I moved out 3 months before the wedding, got mad and demanded that I pay her back. I wrote her a check for the full amount which she promptly tore up and returned to me in a blank envelope. Emotional mind games at its finest.

She practically made me beg her to come. Which I only did because I knew how much worse it would be for me if I didn't. This was the first time I'd ever told my mother 'No' on something and stuck to my guns. I kept saying no throughout all  the crying fits, the hysterical anger, the emotional manipulation, her telling her friends how horrible I am to her and how I never loved her since I wouldn't give her just this one little thing......with her never having any regard for my feelings. None.

I had several of my aunts on my Dad's side offer to step forward and play my Mom on my wedding. All of them were in the room with me as I was getting dressed. All of them were shooting daggers at my Mom as she paraded around pretending like nothing was wrong and acting like the social prima donna that she's always wanted to be. Her daughter was getting married that day, you see. Nothing else mattered. Look how pretty her daughter is...like I'm some sort of china doll you can stick in a cabinet.

Eventually, I stopped telling her things. Like, Oh...hey mom.....I went and had a cake tasting with Steph, without you. And we picked this. And it looks like this. Oh...hey mom....I'm not walking down the aisle to the traditional wedding march. My Dad found this out as we were about to go. :)

This is the closest to breaking I feel like I've been (except for this whole job thing). I sat in my apartment, alone, for months crying and gluing rhinestones to things just to take my mind off everything. My  mother and I haven't had a good relationship for a while. I doubt we'll have one in the future. She cannot understand why, and that's precisely the problem.

Here's the song I walked down the aisle to my husband to. This and my dress bustle are two of the biggest rebellions I did during this period. And I'm proud of both of them.

Moments of Weakness

The universe, I feel, is trying to buck my spirits up.

I've gotten these three text messages from people in the last 2 days.

Mom: "I haven't told you lately how much I love you and how proud I am of the amazing woman you have become. You rock!!! I swell with pride every time I see you. You have ALWAYS amazed me and you just keep doing it. FYI, not trying to butter you up for anything :) Sweet dreams, I love you."

Jacob: "I love you so much and am so glad to know that I will know you and love
you for the rest of my life."

Meagan: "I really sincerely mean it when I say you should just quit. Invest in yourself and figuring out your life. I don't care that he's in school and working. He makes plenty of money for you guys to be okay, if that's the problem, And if its the mental aspect of it, you not helping, so you feel like you're slacking...you're not helping by being unhappy and he's not helping by not understanding. Either way, it's going to be fine. This is going to be a conversation we have in 10 years and say, "remember that job you hated so much?" and you'll say, "OMG yes. It was hell there. I'm so glad that's over." and that'll be it. Whether you quit with a new job or quit with no prospects, I think quitting is essential and it needs to be soon. Because it takes 10 times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart. :)"

What...the....hell? Thanks universe for making me cry repeatedly for the last 48 hours. Using the allergies excuse for my red eyes will only last so long.

Also, this. So much this. It's remarkable how pertinent this song is.

Forgive me for diverging off course...I hate

I am apathetic. I am depressed. I feel as though I bother people because I'm constantly talking about how unhappy I am. I know that there are many things that could be much worse than what I am going through right now, but as the person going through this particular situation at this particular moment in time, it is hard. And I hate it. 

I hate feeling like I annoy people. I hate feeling like people are judging me. I hate when people say, "Oh don't worry about what they think!" But I can't. I do worry. I worry more than I should and I know that but that is how I am. You telling me not to worry is like you telling me not to act like myself. And I've already been not acting like myself. And I hate that too. I feel like a shell. I lie to you and say 'I'm fine' when you should know how much I hate that word and see that as a clue. But you don't. And that's fine. Why would you? I'm telling you all the things you want to hear. Smile when I know that I'm supposed to. But inside I feel myself slowly dying, slowly crumbling in this depression.

It's hard to get myself out of bed in the morning. I laid there for almost 5 minutes today staring at the ceiling feeling sorry for myself in the deep recesses of my soul. My soul. I hate coming to this place every day. I hate the weird feeling of oppression that happens when I walk through the door. I hate that just because I'm a woman I'm expected to be a good secretary. I hate that I feel unappreciated and underused in my current capacity. I hate that I know that as long as I stay here I will never grow or learn anything ever again. I hate that I've already lost valuable knowledge and time during the two years that I have been here. I hate that even though you say you understand, I can tell that you don't and you think it's perfectly fine for me to stay here and waste away to nothing. I'm almost at the point that I want to walk away just to leave, but I know you would freak out too much for that to happen, so here I sit. And here I'll stay until one day someone liberates me from this prison. 

I hate that I feel like I've lost my spirit. When I was in college I was so alive and eager to learn and do. Now I just want to go home and sit on the couch and not think about anything because thinking brings me back to my real life and how unhappy I am. I hate that I feel fat but I can't get out of bed in the morning with enough time to do my workout. I hate that I feel empty, lost, and confused. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. Grad School? (Will that even help?) Try to find another job that hopefully will be better than this one? (How do I go about doing that per say since the last year of my life has been so successful there?)

I hate that I feel like people don't believe me. I don't know if I'd believe me if I were on the outside looking in. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not prone to hyperbole and when I am, it's obvious. This place is a cancer. A viscous, angry, tumor that crawls inside you and affects every aspect of your life. It's a slow spread, but eventually the illusion of glamour that you're brought in on fades and you're left with tin. No more diamonds for you unless you get an anniversary service pin.

I need out. More than anyone can honestly believe, I'd imagine. It's getting harder and I'm not sure how much longer I can stay strong enough to endure this.

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

I decided to write this one today because I got a random nugget of luck at work today.

1. (This is only #1 because it JUST happened). I DON'T HAVE TO DO 4 PEOPLE'S JOBS AT WORK!!! Thank the lord almighty. I almost cried when my boss told me they were moving someone from another department upstairs to take over. I.Almost.Cried. Seriously. I was freaking out today about how I was going to get everything that I had to do done and then my manager was out so I kept getting bs calls to 'find this' and 'send me that' on top of my mountain of paper on my desk AND THEN I was supposed to train for my new job since his last day is Friday but now I don't have to dooooo that anymore! Hopefully the heavens are lightening my load so that hopefully I'll be able to leave soon.

2. Everyone that I invited to Jacob's birthday party actually came. This made me really, exceptionally happy. Thank you to everyone who came even though none of you are reading this. (Except for you Meagan)

3. I have the greatest friends in the world. I've been really depressed lately and it's surprised me who has stepped forward to ask if I'm okay. Thanks for doing that. I'm working on getting back to okay.

4. Possibilities. I'm trying to hold on to the positives right now and think on the bright side. There are a few jobs that I've applied for that I want desperately. Specifically, I want to go back to Sewanee and get to interact with all sorts of authors and editors and agents for the Sewanee Writer's Conference. Yep. There's that.

5. Last but not least, Jacob. We've had some weird moments here lately but I know that you're trying to fix whatever has gone astray in our relationship. Sometimes I'm stubborn and emotional and closed-off,  and sometimes you're aggressive and nervous and loud. But I know that you love me (even though sometimes I forget) and I'm so glad that I married you. I'm so excited about all the new things that we'll get to do in our lifetime and I'm so happy that you want to make all these grand plans with me because you know I like to travel. And you don't laugh at me because I believe in aliens and get way too into things until I'm weirdly emotionally attached. But I love you. And I know that you love me and all my weirdness.

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

I'm in a dark place right now so this is probably more depressing than I really mean it to be. But alas, here it is. Maybe I'll re-do this one when I'm a bit more chipper.

1. Plans change. Learn to adapt. You've spent your entire life planning to go to Duke University, this will not happen. But I guarantee that it will be far better where you end up. You will make some of the best friends that you will ever have at Sewanee, grow in places that you could never imagine, and learn to love so many new things.

2. Your dad was right. The boy who you spend the rest of your life with will never pressure you to have sex before marriage and will respect you enough not to run around on you. You cannot say this about any other boy that you'll date but him. And you love him all the more for it.

3. Not everyone will like you. I'm still struggling with this today but I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that some people suck and you don't want them in your life anyway. They're the ones missing out.

4. First impressions are sometimes wrong. One of your newest, best friends you spent the better part of a year not liking. This was wrong. You'll come to terms with that together and find that what you have is a friendship unlike any you've known recently. :)

5. You will outgrow some people that you loved dearly. Only two of your friends from high school are still hanging around. I still love the rest of them, but I cannot imagine being friends with them anymore. Too much has happened. Too much time has passed.

6. "Nothing good happens without struggle" an 'inspiring' comment from my 'oh-so-lovely' boss. But there is a glimmer of truth to this. I've spent the last two years in a dark hole of depression because of my job. I'm clawing like hell to get out. This is hopefully the darkest period that I'll have to go through for a while. 

7. Learn to find humor in the little things. Sometimes that's all you'll have.

8. Don't be ashamed of what you love. Be it Memphis Tiger basketball, belly dancing or reading children's literature. You are who you are and people love you. Don't be ashamed. There are others out there just like you who aren't strong enough to embrace their differences. 

9. Realize who your friends really are. And those who aren't. Stop finding friends who are obviously bad for you. Just stop it. You'll waste more tears on people who didn't deserve them.

10. You will have hardships in your life, but nothing like those of some people you know. Have some perspective. Things are bad, yes, but they can always ALWAYS be worse.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

Well now that's a loaded question.

I have a pretty good relationship with my Dad. He and I don't always see eye to eye but he is content to let me be me and make the mistakes that I have to make to grow. He always tries to be encouraging and supportive in the best way that he knows how. But he and I were not always this way. He traveled a lot as a truck driver until I was 10. I didn't have a very good relationship until then and I probably only do now because he had a serious heart attack and died on the table for almost a minute. I think that was God's way of telling him to slow down. Enjoy what you have here in Memphis and stop being everywhere else except for where you need to be. Ever since his heart attack we have grown together so well and he has a relationship with my older sister and her two boys that would never have been imaginable before. 

My mother, however, is a different story. She's had to do a lot of tough things in her life: watch her father die slowly of lung cancer, watch her mother die even slower of Alzheimer's, have her brother and sisters turn on her after my grandmother's death and demand the things that she had left to us since we had taken care of her for 5 years. She hasn't handled a lot of this very well. She holds on to me too tightly and on some level I can understand that. But on others, it's too much. I grew up with an overwhelming pressure to be perfect. I had to have great grades, be involved in all sorts of extra curricular activities, have a ton of friends, etc etc. My mother did not have all of these things growing up. She wasn't particularly good in subjects that I excelled in. She was introverted and didn't make friends easily. Therefore, I feel like a good part of my childhood was my mother living through me. Wanting to do the things that she wasn't able to as a child. Once my grandmother died, it almost seemed like my mother wanted me to suddenly take care of her. Problem was, I was 14 years old. I couldn't take care of myself, much less her. And our relationship has been strained ever since. She and I fight all the time because I don't want to do things the way she wants me to or I don't agree with her on everything, etc etc....and I hate it. I hate it so much. I wish that I could have the mother-daughter relationship that you see on Gilmore Girls, but in reality, I have the grandmother-mother relationship. And it sucks. We didn't talk for 5 weeks this winter (ending with Christmas Day...how fitting) because she wanted me to drop everything on the one day that Jacob and I had to run a ton of errands and drive her around. I said no. We had important things that we needed to get done. Then nothing....for five weeks. 

Because of this, I have a weird relationship with Jacob's mom whom I love dearly. She's asked me to call her "mom"....I told her that I don't know if I could. Mom is such a loaded word to me now, after everything, that it feels weird to have something else associated with it like that. So for the time being, I call her 'Ms. Lynn' like I have for the past five years....maybe one day.

And now, unrelated: I am officially obsessed with this song...and lord knows I need to hear this pretty much every day.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

First:

I am terrified of walking over the grates in sidewalks. Now, I will walk over them if I have to, but I hold my breath and every muscle in my body tenses. I am afraid of falling through them.....which is a rational fear, I know. But I am more afraid of what will be in the sewer when I fall. The Ninja Turtles. No. Lie. I am afraid of this. When I was 4 years old I had a nightmare in black and white where I was an inch tall and the Turtles were chasing me trying to squish me. Not pleasant. I still love the Ninja Turtles and am not afraid of them by any means. But I'm apparently afraid to meet them in a sewer. Perhaps if I just carry a pizza around with me at all times I'll be all right.

Second:

SPIDERS!!!!!!! OMG I hate spiders so much. They have too many legs....and eyes....and they're furry...and they have pinchers...and they bite you....and they jump....My skin is crawling just writing this. Sometimes Jacob runs his fingers down my arm really fast and says there's a spider on me and I literally freak out and my heart starts racing. Have I made it clear that I hate spiders? Good.

Third:

Failing. I know this is going to sound awful, but I don't think I've ever failed before. Not really anyway. I mean, obviously people fail tests all the time. And I've failed to make it to places on time. And I've failed to get jobs that I really wanted....but there has not been something that I have wanted to do where I am unable to accomplish this. Or maybe I'm just looking at my life all wonky and I fail all the time...and my real fear is just being aware of truly how useless I am. 

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

1. I'm not sure exactly how tall I am. I used to be 5"6, but I feel like I've grown and am now 5'7.

2. I choreograph dances in my head while driving down the street. Not all of them I can physically do myself.

3. I get way too into things that I love: books, television shows, movies, music.

4. I could sit and read for hours and be perfectly content.

5. My favorite color is green (but not puke green or neon, those aren't real).

5. My favorite band is Jimmy Eat World.

6. Those are the only two favorites I have. I can't make up my mind on anything else.

7. I love macaroni and cheese and could eat it on a daily basis. It's also my go-to comfort food.

8. I used to be a third degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Hi-ya!

9.  I lied. Belle is my favorite Disney character. That's three favorites.

10. I hate math. I have horrible math anxiety and had panic attacks in Calculus in high school. Yes, I took Calculus with math anxiety. Yes, I am insane.

11. I am extremely driven, most of the time. I've lost a lot of that where I am now.

12. I have to always be doing something. Sitting still or not having anything to do for too long will make me lethargic and depressed. Trust me, you don't want to see that.

13. As a child, I wanted to be an astronaut. Then Deep Impact and Armageddon came out. Game over.

14. I have TERRIBLE eyesight. I wear contacts every day until right before I go to bed, when I switch to glasses. Without either, I can see shapes and colors. Maybe.

15.  I was determined to go to Duke University until I set foot on Sewanee's campus. Game changer.

16. I love everything about the Memphis Tiger's Men's Basketball team.

17. I cannot draw to save my life. Seriously, I screw up stick figures.

18. I am a fierce and loyal friend.

19. Once, when I told someone I was from Mississippi they literally asked me if we had electricity. I responded, "Yeah...and we just got indoor plumbing two weeks ago. Isn't it amazing?"

20. I'm very snarky. See above.

Shamlessly stealing this from Meagan

I'm having a rough week. Maybe writing something out will help. Here's what I'll (hopefully) be doing and complete.







1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.